Low-level sadness

I once dreamed that I had paid a visit to my sister and her husband and children with an undignified consequence. Before I go on, I stress that I love them, I am unreservedly generous towards them and not resentful about that in the slightest, which is probably why this dream ended so badly for me.

In this dream she had told me over the phone that I should go to her house for ‘so and so’s’ birthday party (she used the name of one of her children). In the next scene when I got there with some money as a gift, I found out that it was not her child’s birthday but rather someone else’s of the same name whom I do not like (this person does not actually exist in reality). I complained to her that I now have to hold back the cash and she should have been clear as to whom she was referring. I suspected her of trying to deceive me into giving money to someone I dislike. She replied ‘but you know it’s not X’s birthday today because it was X’s birthday last month. You gave X a bike’. I looked away from my sister towards another part of the room to see X riding their bike, and they waved and smiled at me in appreciation. I did know that.

I interpret this as a waking concern that I had about whether I had been trying to deceive myself about what is likely in my life no matter how much I think I want it to happen. Money here represents ambition per se. You might ask is it a fear of poverty that is the concern in feeling the need to save money? But the main point of the dream was the ‘but you know’. My sister was more or less me telling myself the truth: ‘but you know’. Whether ‘she’ was trying to deceive me is actually irrelevant, what is relevant is that ‘I know’ what is true and what is false about reality, what is likely and what is unlikely.

Whatever problems you have, you know what they are and where they come from. Don’t tell yourself that you are wrong about reality. You know the truth.

 

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