A frank discussion.
It is generally believed, and with good reason, that we will likely fall in love with those who resemble our opposite-sex-parent. And since we ourselves, to a degree, look like our mother and father, what really grieves us here is that, not only does the object of desire want nothing to do with us, this is tantamount to treating us as though we are alien. We don’t really believe that we are trying to overreach ourselves. But this is not arrogance. Worst case scenario, we would like them to see us how we would like to see ourselves. As far as we’re concerned, ethnicity and class aside, ‘we and our love interests are from the same tribe’. In other words, we want who, in theory, ‘belongs to us’. We contextualise ourselves. Cliché as it may be, it is without doubt a matter of the heart.
Sadly, when on sight they go to great lengths to give us no encouragement whatsoever to make a move, and I’m not talking about someone merely playing hard to get, I mean genuine avoidance, perhaps even before we’ve had chance to smile or say hello, then we are left with a very helpless version of ourselves by ourselves which, of course, was not what we were going for. We are deprived of our strength. Walking on is easy in itself, but we go nowhere in particular whereas they seemingly go somewhere preferable namely away from us. Then we realise just how naïve we were to subconsciously demand that they pay attention to us when we are merely one in a billion, but not the one.
It is the most humbling experience anyone can have in their life.